what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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