i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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