So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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