i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
you never un-have a 4some
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
