McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
