no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
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my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
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we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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