Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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