i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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