she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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