I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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