Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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