she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
