yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
