you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize