drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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