Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
