just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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