my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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