12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
