is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
