now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize