where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
