she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
