24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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