Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
