I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
