So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
