I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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