I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
