i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so let's talk penis.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
