I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
