Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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