We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
