Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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