yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
