He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
