You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
