is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
