wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
