I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
