New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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