my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
