My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
