Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
