Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
