He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
