i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
