I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
