I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
