I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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