I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
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