Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize