bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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