my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
